Mens Work

 

  • Men’s work is when men come together in mutual support around the individual and collective challenges of being a man in today’s world. The work is to heal the causes and effects of toxic or immature masculinity on the body, mind, and heart.

  • First some grounding in terms:

    The term Sex commonly refers to the biological aspects of human reproduction.

    The term Gender commonly refers to the cultural differences between humans of different sex.
    Masculinity and Femininity are aspects of gender.

    For the context of men’s work, Masculinity is a way of describing the male-specific cultural conditioning experienced by a male in the society in which he was raised.

  • Most men in North America were taught or shown a version of masculinity that was immature, conflicted, or absent. Many received a message that masculinity was a form of strength or power that is domineering, exploitative, violent, and/or disconnected from the needs of the human body, heart (emotions), and spirit.

    As a result, many masculine adults struggle to feel, understand and communicate the full range of their emotions. Many feel too unsafe to make themselves emotionally vulnerable and this causes an inability to form a deep emotional connection with others. In our society, it’s “normal” for men to live their lives in their heads, be disconnected from what they want in their hearts, and what they feel in their bodies. Many men feel besieged, alone, compartmentalized, overwhelmed by pressure, and just plain angry about the whole situation.

    But this is changing…

  • Mature masculinity is generative:

    This means mature masculine people are fundamentally creative rather than destructive. They create wealth rather than decrease it. They create space rather than snap it up. They create freedom and possibility instead of reducing them. The generative masculine builds up community, ways of being, and visions of the future rather than tears them down.

    Mature masculinity is safe:

    This means that mature masculinity feels secure in itself and creates security for others. We can recognize someone with mature masculinity because we feel safer when we are in their presence. It also means that someone with mature masculinity owns up to responsibility instead of avoiding it. They are secure enough to take 100% responsibility for their emotions, thoughts, words, and actions. This leads to felt integrity and to full transparency.

    Mature masculinity serves something greater than itself.

    This means, that the power and the ego of a mature masculine person are fundamentally devoted in service to a higher, nobler, cause/purpose, or power. As a result, a mature masculine person will be more interested in empowering others than empowering themselves.

    Mature masculinity transforms immature masculinity…

  • There is no magic wand. There is only practice.

    We may not have been taught how to be generative, safe, empowering, responsible, and devoted. But with the help of other men, we can learn maturity, and redefine masculinity for the next generation.

    Together we can reforge masculinity in a way that transcends and includes what came before. In men’s work, we come together to practice

    -Feeling safe, heard, and seen
    -Making others feel safe heard and seen.
    -Being empowered, empowering others.
    -Feeling and expressing the full range of our emotions
    -Being fully responsible for ourselves and our lives
    -Finding and following a higher purpose
    -Creating and holding space for growth and learning
    -Be compassionately challenged to mature

  • Exploitative economic systems, global war, ecosystem collapse, weapons of mass destruction, genocide, global oppression of women, slavery... This is the legacy of the immature masculine when given godlike technological and political power.

    Only by changing the source of these wrongs in ourselves can we hope to change the source of these wrongs in the world.

    The power to transform this world is literally in your hands. It’s in your own body, mind, heart, and spirit. By maturing, by healing, we transform ourselves into both antidote and cure. As mature men, we become the antidote to the pain and poison within other men and cure for the problems of our earth.

    Let’s get to work.